Is an Experienced Surrogate Better?

When choosing a surrogate, there are many factors to consider.  One of the options is whether to choose an experienced surrogate or to choose an inexperienced surrogate.

Let's explore the benefits and concerns for each:

Benefits of an Experienced Surrogate:

• An experienced surrogate and her family have already been through the process and released parentage.
• An experienced surrogate understands the medications, the appointments and the commitment.
• An experienced surrogate has proven that she can carry a successful surrogate pregnancy.
• An experienced surrogate knows the ropes and can help guide you.

Challenges with an Experienced Surrogate:

• An experienced surrogate has expectations of the relationship.
• An experienced surrogate will compare you to her previous experience.
• An experienced surrogate may be carrying baggage from her previous experience that will color her experience with you.
• An experienced surrogate generally has a higher base compensation.

Benefits of an Inexperienced Surrogate:

• An inexperienced surrogate has a fresh and new perspective.
• An inexperienced surrogate may be more open to meeting the Intended Parents' needs.
• An inexperienced surrogate is sharing a new experience with you, allowing you to enjoy the 'firsts' together.
• An inexperienced surrogate generally has a lower base compensation.

Challenges of an Inexperienced Surrogate: 

• An inexperienced surrogate hasn't proven that she can relinquish parentage.
• An inexperienced surrogate has never been through the process and doesn't know how she will react.
• An inexperienced surrogate doesn't know how her friends and family will feel about surrogacy and how it will impact them.

In the end, you have to choose what is most important to you.  For some intended parents, having the security that the surrogate has already given birth and relinquished parentage is very important.  For others, building a relationship from scratch may be more important.

As an agency owner, I see advantages to both experienced and inexperienced surrogates, and rarely encourage intended parents to choose a surrogate solely on experience level.